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I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore

by Constellations

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1.
Cursed 03:21
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It’s been a while since my eyes burned, From something that I didn’t burn A change of heart’s not in my cards, But I know a place and it ain’t too far All those things I hid before have now come knocking at my door Not that it’s of your concern, but I don’t think I’ll ever learn It’s time for me to say this hurts But all I do is make it worse When did I get fucking cursed It’s time to say its not It’s not a first Lungs are full of smoke and space I still wanna leave this place Nothing could ever be the same Now where's the reason I stayed Maybe you’re the one who changed It’s time for me to say this hurts But all I do is make it worse When did I get fucking cursed It’s time to say it’s not It’s not a first This is going nowhere I guess I’ll never learn Looked inside and found nothing there This is what i earned Yeah I can never really stand the sound So I guess it’s time that we put this in the ground Yeah I can never really stand the sound So I guess it’s time that we put this in the fucking ground Yeah Fuck It’s time for me to say this hurts But all I do is make it worse When did I get fucking cursed It’s time to say it’s not It’s not a first
2.
Sleepless 03:12
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Wipe that shit from my eyes Another sleepless night Have no soul, lose control I’m in my hole again Burning at my fingertips As if I’m hitting bricks Wandering dread Cause there’s no home in my head I’m feeling wasted Visions are faded Mindless days slip away I overthink at night Toss and turn in my sheets Until they’re smothering me Wandering dread cause there’s no home in my head Trapped in my mind Like I’m buried alive Head full of worms Because I’m empty inside Can’t shake this mindset I’ve misled Rip my heart out my chest Out of my chest My chest Gotta keep my mind at bay So that I won’t drift away Oblivion is calling out to me Some place where I can sleep So dark that I can't see I hide beneath my sheets But what I fear’s inside of me Trapped in my mind Like I’m buried alive Head full of worms cause I’m empty inside I'm self destructive Unproductive Gotta keep my mind at bay So that I won’t drift away Oblivion is calling out to me Some place where I can sleep So dark that I can't see I hide beneath my sheets But what I fear’s inside of me I'm self destructive Unproductive Now I’ll never find My piece of mind Talking in my sleep To the friends I left behind Never know Who’s in control Or how deep this hole in my soul goes I'm self destructive Unproductive
3.
Under the Skin 03:39
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I want to unravel you Read your mind, do you think like I do? What keeps you awake at night, What do you tell yourself to make things alright Like a fly caught in your web I can feel you in my head Feels like the walls are closing in on me What’s with the third degree? Tell me everything you want me to be Show me everything that I’m too blind to see I wish I could show you what’s under the skin But I never learned how to let someone in And I know that it shows it’s Just the way it goes But what’s underneath my skin is not for you to know To think that once we were the same It’s been awhile, now you’re telling me that Everything has changed I’ve gotten so good at mind games Nothing’s more fun, you know that I love Driving you insane I get this feeling inside When I’m laying next to you And I want to let it show But what is beneath my skin is Not for you to ever Not for you to ever know I wish I could show you what’s under the skin But I never learned how to let someone in And I know that it shows it’s Just the way it goes But what’s underneath my skin is not for you to know I wasn’t made for these times I’m not at home here Can’t speak my mind
4.
Sick Sad World 04:07
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I used to be so strong, Your world wrung me out Now that person’s gone I’m saying so long Being right’s never felt so wrong Time’s tide is smothering me and what do I do I waste all of my time still thinking about you It’s true I can’t decide where to keep you in my mind A shadow in the light, Or a hole down deep inside I used to be so strong, Your world wrung me out Now that person’s gone I’m saying so long Being right's never felt so wrong The world’s turned to grey My mind decays And you made it this way No No more wasting my time I've figured out what I’m worth I’ve got mountains to climb So draw the line cause I'm tired of feeling hurt Can't get you out of my head Sink your teeth into my tongue Until I taste that red When will it ever be enough (Cause I'm tired of feeling hurt Sink your teeth into my tongue Until I taste that red When will it ever be enough) I used to be so strong, Your world wrung me out Now that person’s gone I’m saying so long Being right's never felt so wrong The world’s turned to grey My mind decays And you made it this way You could never say what you mean Look me in the eyes and turn off that screen Never felt a thing all along Never felt so wrong Oh You could never say what you mean Look me in the eyes and turn off that screen Oh You could never say what you mean Look me in the eyes and turn off that screen I used to be so strong, Your world wrung me out Now that person’s gone I’m saying so long Being right's never felt so wrong The world’s turned to grey My mind decays And you made it this way Yeah yeah yeah
5.
Frostbite 03:35
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Nowadays I find myself living inside of my own head With ideas I’d never wanted and words I’d never said With a list of things to be happy for I still can’t find a way To see through fabricated miseries and self proclaimed bad days All of my senses scream Tearing a hole through my weak seams And when it breaks there’s no reason to repair All of my senses scream finding a way to make me believe That it’s okay to not be scared Digging for the pain others thrive on has surely driven me insane Selfishly seeking problems I’ve got no reason to complain Everyone has worries mine just got out of hand But there’s no way to get off track if you never had a plan All of my senses scream Tearing a hole through my weak seams And when it breaks there’s no reason to repair All of my senses scream finding a way to make me believe That it’s okay to not be scared I’ve been running out of places left to hide It’s so much easier than trying to survive Consumed by negative thoughts and my last breath’s almost gone I’m the coldest shoulder you ever could have leaned on All of my senses scream Tearing a hole through my weak seams And when it breaks there’s no reason to repair All of my senses scream finding a way to make me believe That it’s okay to not be scared All of my senses scream Tearing a hole through my weak seams And when it breaks there’s no reason to repair All of my senses scream finding a way to make me believe That it’s okay to not be scared
6.
CAOS 03:50
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You want to bleed me dry Leave me nothing inside But you cant take what's not mine (what’s not mine) I've never been my own The only symptom I've shown’s a parasite You left a hole (where you used to be) Your eyes now unfamiliar to me You let me down (so gently) Show me you can walk on water And I’ll be your lamb to slaughter Guess I need to show So you’ll know How I’ll throw away the input And won’t grow Stuck in my abyss is where I Like to stay put Have another look But don't you follow me (EH!) Unholy divination Blood trails in the details Think you made it out with no skin under your nails Lost from the get go Wish I’d never let go Begging on my knees and I think I’ve hit a new low You get what you give It’s as above so below You get what you give But keep it all on the need to know You left a hole (where you used to be) Your eyes now unfamiliar to me You let me down (so gently) Show me you can walk on water And I’ll be your lamb to slaughter If you hear the sound I hope you’re listening If you hear the sound I hope you're listening Your throat with my hand wrapped around I hope you're listening

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released July 10, 2020

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Constellations Mesa, Arizona

New EP "I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore" out NOW on all digital media platforms.

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